Funny New York Sayings
New Yorkers love talking about New York, and why not? There’s been innumerable songs, poems, novels, plays, and movies that have been written about the city, but for some reason there just doesn’t seem to be enough words to pin it down.
Despite the limitless inspiration, the same tired old cliches about this town get tossed around like empty Greek coffee cups on a windy day:
*The following quotes should be considered satire and should not be taken seriously at all. They’re only jokes.*
– If you live in New York, even if you’re catholic, you’re Jewish.
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– The Bronx? No Thonx!
– New York Taxi Rules:
– Drivers speak no English.
– The driver hates you.
– The only real advantage of New York is that all its inhabitants ascend to heaven right after their deaths, having served their full term in hell right on Manhattan Island.
– An interesting thing about New York City is that the subways run through the sewers.
– There’s no room for amateurs, even in crossing the streets.
– New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most of it unsolved.
– Hating the New York Yankees is as American as pizza, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.
– New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment – a place where you’re least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
– New York now leads the world’s great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn’t make a sudden move.
– New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.
– A person who speaks good English in New York sounds like a foreigner.
– It’s not Mecca; it just smells like it.
– I’ve been a New Yorker for ten years, and the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies.
– Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
– One belongs to New York instantly; one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years.
– When you’re in New York City, always keep your money and other valuables in a safe place, such as Switzerland.
– New York is a place where the rich walk, the poor drive Cadillacs, and beggars die of malnutrition with thousands of dollars hidden in their mattresses.
– You’re never alone in New York; the city is your date.
– New York makes one think of the collapse of civilization, about Sodom and Gomorrah, the end of the world. The end wouldn’t come as a surprise here. Many people already bank on it.
– New York is like living inside Stephen King’s brain during an aneurysm.
– When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is.
– New York has always been going to hell, but somehow it never gets there.
– A car is a useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners.
– A real New Yorker is someone who thinks that if you live anywhere else, you’re just kidding.
– New York – that unnatural city where everyone is an exile, none more so than the American.
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comment section below!